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"Bathsheba and Bread"
He had a problem. He indulged in this problem because way down deep inside, if the truth be told, he was afraid. Of course, he would never have admitted that to anyone. He was afraid that he wasn’t going to be "successful. . ." Childhood memories, of, seemingly, never being able to measure up, and of what seemed to happen in his home when one didn’t do well, drove him towards success at all costs. There was a hunger, a thirst for more - no matter how well he did. And so he lied. He lied about everything, because he just couldn’t face people and tell the truth - especially if he had messed up. We know what can eventually come after living for a long time in such a way - the very thing our friend was trying to avoid - failure - a fall of some sort. . . Eventually, a wife can’t take it any more, a bank catches up with you, a job is eventually lost. . . That’s what happened to our friend. He was devastated and did not know where to turn.
. . .Jesus said, "I am the bread of life. . . those who come to me will never be hungry - those who believe in me will never thirst. . ." She was in a position to handle money every day. Having all those greenbacks (all that "bread") in her hand just made it so easy for her one day to slip just a couple of hundreds in her pocket. "This is a big operation," she said to herself, "they will never miss this and a couple of hundred would really help out." It was so easy, that the next time the urge struck her, she took a couple hundred more. Pretty soon, she was thinking about getting more, almost all the time. In fact it began to occupy her thoughts day and night. She hungered and thirst for it. There was a twinge of guilt, but things were tight and she had put in her years - really she justified, she was entitled to a little bit more. And so the process continued, until eventually she was found out. It crushed her family and friends. It was then that the guilt really hit her and hit her hard. . . She couldn’t get out of bed. She, too, didn’t know where to turn. . . .Jesus said, "I am the bread of life, those who come to me shall never be hungry, those who believe in me shall never thirst. . ." Perhaps we have not been in these exact places, but maybe we have hit rock bottom at some point - maybe because of a serious mistake. . .maybe because of a hunger, a thirst that was unfilled. . . David, Israel’s greatest king, ancestor of Jesus himself, hungered and thirst. He hungered after something that he knew he shouldn’t have. He hungered, too, to cover it up. You see, David, King David, sinned and he did it big time. . .And as is often the case, one sin led to another and before you knew it he was in a real mess. . . Bathsheba gets pregnant. And David tries to get her husband to have go have relations with her, but Uriah is too much the loyal soldier, making his death all the more tragic. And so Uriah gets moved to the front line of the battle, purposefully, and he is killed. . . Oh, what a tangled web we weave, when first we practice to deceive. . . Many Christians don’t like to talk about sin these days. It is not a popular topic in mainline churches. Perhaps it is because it reeks of fire and brimstone preachers with their accompanying heavy guilt, or screaming televangelists, false prophets. . . It can conjure up worm-like feelings inside and can make us forget what wonderful creatures we are, created in the image of God, created by a God who knows even the hairs on our head. . . Sin, however, is part of our humanity - part of our understanding of faith and the need for a savior. Not to talk about it, would be, quite frankly, a sin! Sin can take many forms - there are the seven deadly sins of pride, greed, lust, gluttony, anger, envy, and sloth. . . Dishonesty seems to be a huge sin at work in our world, today. The truth is just too painful to deal with sometimes, and so before we know it, we are way down a road upon which we didn’t want to travel - like David - like the man or woman I shared about earlier. . . What is inspiring about David and this story, though, is that although there are terrible consequences, David eventually stops the merry go round. He sees his sin and confesses. The prophet, Nathan, his advisor so to speak, calls David to account for himself. And although Nathan approaches David with a little fear and trepidation, he does it wisely - in a way in which David can see himself and his wrongdoing, and be able to repent. Repentance is another word that can conjure up more visions of the fire and brimstone preachers. . . But what repentance really means, from the Greek, is "to turn around" - to turn from what one is doing - to stop, make a decision to go in a different direction, one that takes us back to God. Perhaps it is in a split second that these kinds of decisions are made. As simple as a teenager quickly deciding to get in someone else’s car - not the one that will take you down the wrong road. . . Maybe the decision is more methodical - a well-thought-out apology, an amends. Psalm 51 (the psalm given to us by the lectionary for today) and our own prayer of confession, is a psalm that our Bibles say has been attributed to David, after he went into Bathsheba. In some Bibles long ago, I understand that there was a space left in the middle of this II Samuel reading, whereby Psalm 51, or part of it, could be inserted when you get to the part where David says, "I have sinned. . ." This psalm or something like it, is what David must have said in his repentance, his turning around, his turning back to God. . . Perhaps it was the sin of lust, for which David repented, first - his lust for Bathsheba. But, there was an earlier error. For when kings were supposed to be going to war, David stayed home. He stayed in Jerusalem, resting on his laurels, and put himself in the position to get in trouble - perhaps we can relate. . . But David’s biggest sin, one prevalent in our world, today, was the abuse of power, for he used his power in an unhealthy and deadly way. Perhaps we have done something similar, maybe not to this extreme. But even if the power we have is small, we can still use it to manipulate or to play a game in a relationship or a friendship, to steal the limelight from someone else, to put someone else down, to get our needs for approval seemingly met by lording over. . . No matter what we have done, there are some words that wash over us like a refreshing rain in the midst of our difficult world. There is a grace that awaits us, a person who awaits us, one who says, "I am the bread of life. Whoever comes to me will never be hungry. Whoever believes in me will never thirst." You see, many of us believe in ourselves, in worldly things. But no matter what it is that we have lusted after, no matter in what way we try to wrest satisfaction from the things of this world, there is something waiting for us that will truly satisfy our hunger - it is the Bread of Life. Jesus Christ. He is the true bread who has come down from heaven, who will sustain us. He, like the manna in the wilderness is what will take us through the wildernesses of our lives. But, unlike manna that will perish, and even unlike the loaves and fishes provided in the preceding story in John, what Holly shared about last week, Jesus is a bread that will last forever. This may sound like nothing really new. We hear this all the time. We know this, don’t we? But do we know this? Do we really know him? Do we really believe in him? "I am the bread of life, those who come to me, will never be hungry. Those who believe in me will never thirst." It sounds pretty simple, doesn’t it? It really is. No matter the "Bathshebas" in our lives, no matter the mistakes, there is bread for our souls. It is in getting to know Him. It is in believing in him. I could tell you about a bunch of people, Christians throughout time who were once wayward sons and daughters, who turned around, who got to know this bread of life and knew him well. . . There are people, today’s saints, like Thomas Merton, St. Francis, Dorothy Day, St. Augustine. . . Saints who have a past. . . ‘Cause you see, we all do. The difference in the saints is that they came to know him - they had a relationship with him that caused them to soar to high places and do great things for the Lord. Then there are people we don’t know that much about. Like a minister named David Watson, who talked in Lectionary resource book about his relationship with the Lord. . . He says, "About 1:00 a.m., one Advent Sunday morning, I had a bad asthmatic attack. In my helplessness, I cried out to God to speak to me. I’m not very good at listening. . . but between 1:00 and 3:00 a.m. God spoke to me so powerfully and painfully that I have never felt so broken before him (and still do). He showed me that all my preaching, writing, and other ministry is absolutely nothing compared to my love-relationship with him. In fact, my sheer busyness had squeezed out the close intimacy I had known with him. . . God also showed me that any "love" for him meant nothing unless I was truly able to love from my heart my brother or sister in Christ. As the Lord put various names into my mind I began to write letters to about twelve people asking for forgiveness for hurting them. . .or whatever. It was the most painful pruning and purging I can remember in my entire Christian life. But fruitful! Already some replies to my letters have reduced me to tears. . ." Our call, today, is to wrestle with however we have erred and worked for satisfaction from the wrong things in this world. Our call is to turn from those things and to begin to work for bread which truly satisfies. May we have the grace so to do. . . Prayer, God who gives us the bread of life in Jesus Christ, help us to turn back towards you in whatever ways we may need to do so. Help us to know you, to believe in you, as you nourish our souls. Amen. |
Erin
Rouse